he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
