She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
