Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
