i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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