I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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