I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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