I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
