Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
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The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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