whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
