feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
