Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i think i just lost a toe
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
