Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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