Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can I color on your dick again?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
