so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
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How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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