you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
