Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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