You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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