Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
