just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
