Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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