my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
