i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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