Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
