you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
