I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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