does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
