Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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