drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
