No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize