in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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