well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
