Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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