His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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