just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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