Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
