I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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