3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
