Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
