I heard we made out
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
