worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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