Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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