My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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