I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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