Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
