this just has baby written all over it
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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