after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My underwear smells like fireworks.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
