i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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