I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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