Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
