Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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