just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
