I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
