They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
