Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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