i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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